Ghost of Love Lost
by katlizhan
Summary: On the eve of the Millennium festival, Dimitri returns to Garreg Mach Monastery. There he finds his love thought to have been lost in the battle five years before- or is she just a fragment of his broken mind...? Dimileth one-shot.


**Ghost of Love Lost**

**A Dimileth One-shot**

Tomorrow was the day. The day of the millennium festival, and of the Blue Lion's class reunion. At least it would have been, if not for that wretched woman. How foolish to think that they would come after all that had happened. And yet here Dimitri stood, facing the very place where he had lost everything. Where old friends turned traitor, and ancient beasts revealed their true selves.

The abandoned ruins of Garreg Mach loomed ahead, broken and forgotten. He trudged through what was left of the town, nothing more than a pile of ash, and cast his mind back to that fateful day five years before. The day he had lost his love- and his sanity with her. Edelgard would pay for her crimes in blood.

_Kill her. Tear her limbs and flesh apart and let the crows feast on her eyes. She took your Kingdom- took your Professor. Make her pay. Make her suffer. _The voices in his head were incessant- a constant reminder of why he still lived. Of what needed to be done.

"I swear, I will tear her traitorous head from her body." Dimitri's voice broke through the silence, full of contempt. "Father... Mother... Glenn. Professor- even Dedue. I will avenge you." He looked skyward to the sea of white clouds and scoffed. Even the sun itself dared not look upon him.

Bodies of soldiers laid the steps to the monastery, their flesh decayed and infested with maggots. The sight did not disgust the broken king- he had seen, and _done_ far worse before. Inside, rubble littered the ground. He walked deeper into this place he once held fondly, this place that used to filled with laughter and joy. All that remained was bitter decay. He tried to remember back to that time, to when he and his classmates would sit and enjoy a meal in the dining room, and of their missions with the Professor. His time with her had been brief, and their time as lovers even less so. Stolen moments between lectures, the brushing of fingers as they passed by. And their first night of passion, when they had fled from the noise of the ball to the quiet of her quarters. They were the happiest days of his life. A bitter laugh escaped him- she would be ashamed of him now. Pity the beast he had become.

In a small corner of a turret, he sat against the wall. Light beamed down from the gaps in the ceiling, and he could see the flecks of dust dancing in the air. He sat until the day turned to night, and the night into day, lost in the madness of his mind. The voices taunted him, hissing and spitting, clawing at his hold over them, but he would not falter. Patience, he told them. They would have their revenge, but he needed to be certain. Certain that there was nothing left to return to.

After what felt like a millennium, he heard soft footsteps climbing the steps he had ascended the day before. One of the thieves who now infested this place, perhaps, or could it be...? No, they would not be so foolish. The footsteps reached the top, and then they stopped. Dimitri lifted his head, and was not surprised to see the face that met his gaze.

"I should have known that you would come to haunt me, too," he said, lowering his gaze to the side. How shameful that she would see him in this state.

Byleth did not reply, only held out her hand. Dimitri did not take it, and instead stood on his own. She was a ghost. Nothing more.

"Don't look at me with scorn in your eyes. You're not real- just one of the restless that torment me. What must I do to be rid of you?" He scowled.

She smiled, and in the barren remains of Dimitri's twisted heart, he felt something stir.

"Everything will be okay," she said, her voice calm and reassuring. The light from above bathed her in an angelic glow.

"Are you truly alive?" he whispered, voice cracking, and reached out to touch the soft skin of her cheek. He pulled his hand away, afraid that his fingers would move right through her and shatter the illusion.

Byleth took it and lifted it to her face, a tear forming in the corner of her eye. "I'm here," she said, squeezing his hand. "I'll always be here."

Dimitri swallowed the lump in his throat. It had been so long since he had heard her voice- so long since he had brushed his fingers along her cheek. He wiped away the fallen tear, then traced the familiar lines of her jaw. If this was to be a dream, he never wanted to wake.

"Are you here to slay the beast?" he heard himself ask. Years of betrayal had made it hard to trust anybody- even those he once loved. "Answer the question."

She shook her head. "You're no beast, my love," she affirmed, and pulled him closer to press their lips together. For a moment he wanted it, to give in to his temptation and savour every last part of her, but...

He pushed her away.

"You didn't answer the question. After all these years and you come to me now?" he snapped. _One of us, one of us,_ the voices sang.

Byleth lowered her gaze.

"Look at me!" Dimitri growled. He raised his bloodstained hands, pulse quickening. "This is who I am now- who I've _always_ been. These hands have killed countless souls, torn flesh from bone and silenced tongues." He breathed heavily. "Look the monster in the eye and tell it the truth."

Though reluctant, Byleth met his eye with her own. In them, he saw pity. It disgusted him. "I would never harm you," she whispered.

_Liar_, the voices screeched. _Beast you were and beast you are- she knows it to be true._

Dimitri's fury increased, his grip on the reins loosening. _"You're lying!"_ he roared, unsheathing the dagger at his belt. He pointed the tip to her throat, a trickle of blood dripping down her flesh. The darkness thrashed inside of him, goading him to push it further. How exhilarating it would be to watch the life leave her pale eyes. But somewhere, in the forgotten corners of his unhinged mind, the fading embers of his humanity called out to him. She was his Professor. His beloved.

His everything.

Dimitri sighed, releasing the tension from his shoulders. "Take the blade and make it swift." He flipped the dagger and offered her the hilt.

She shook her head. "No, I won't. I _can't,"_ she pleaded, taking a step back.

"If I leave this place, more people will die. To defeat the monster you must destroy me too," he said, forcing the blade into her small hands. His patience was wearing thin.

She threw it to the floor, replacing it with his face. "I won't do it, Dimitri." She tucked a finger under the strap of his eyepatch, stroking the sore skin beneath. "After all this time, don't you see? _I love you."_

The words struck him, freezing him in place and silencing the voices that corrupted his thoughts. Tears welled in his eye, the sensation unfamiliar yet so natural. They fell, hot against the morning chill, and Byleth lowered his head into her shoulder for him to sob. So long he had waited for those words to be said, so long since anyone had shown him empathy. It was the only time he had cried since the night his family had been torn from him. And the first time he had ever felt at peace.

"Where were you?" he sniffed, pulling himself together. He was a king, no matter how broken. Crying was a wasted energy.

"I was here," she pressed two fingers against his forehead, "and here." She moved them down above his broken heart.

Dimitri searched her pale-green eyes, but found nothing. "I don't understand... Five years and not a word- where were you?" The doubt returned, faint but present.

"None of that matters. You must forget your revenge- move on. Live your life. Be the King I know you can be, and find the others. They'll help you." Byleth smiled, lacing her fingers between the mess of his hair.

"What?" Dimitri darted his eye between hers. "Why are you talking as if you are leaving? We only just found each other at long last- I can't lose you again." He swallowed the lump in his throat, trying to ignore the fear rising in his gut.

Byleth continued to stroke his hair, eerily calm. "Promise me, Dimitri. Promise me you'll do the right thing. And remember- I love you," she said, and to his alarm began to fade away into specks of light.

_"No!"_ he gasped, desperately grabbing at what was left of her.

It was no use- she was gone. _An illusion after all... _For a fleeting moment he had believed her to be real, _hoped_ that after so long he could feel the joy of his past. A mistake he would not make again.

Dimitri screamed and fell to his knees, retrieving the dagger from the cracked floor. He brought it to his throat, the steel cold against his skin. He could end it all right there, but he wasn't strong enough- still a vow he needed to uphold. The dagger dropped into his lap, glinting in the sunlight. There should have been blood at its tip.

"I can't do as you ask," he sighed. "Not while she still breathes... Not without you." He turned the blade over to read the name scratched into its surface. The name of the life it was destined to take. With a stone from the rubble, Dimitri scrawled a new name onto the other side, another life condemned to death. He raised the dagger into the light to admire his work, eye fixed on the name that adorned it.

_Dimitri_.

Once he had fulfilled his goal, once the steel was slick with the blood of the treacherous one, he would turn the blade on himself and silence the tortured in his head. Only then would he be reunited with his beloved- and be at peace.

* * *

**_A/N~ Eeeeeep, this was a fun one to write. Despite Byleth's words Dimitri just can't let go of his revenge. 'TIS A SHAME._****_I could do another part to this but that's mainly because I don't like endings haha... we shall seeee._****_Thank you for reading!!_** **If you have any one-shot requests, just drop them in the reviews****! Or PM me- that'd make more sense lol **


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